*This post was supposed to be earlier then the next post. But since i forgot all about it, let me just post this as per normal.*

.Its so fast how times flies...
.And look its Syawal already...
.This year ramadhan had been different...
.Somehow idk if its better or worst...
.But before i say anything else...
.I would like to wish all Muslims in Singapore...
.Selamat Hari Raya...
.Maaf Zahir Batin...

.Lets talk about Puase/Fasting...
.This year at the start of Ramadhan...
.I know very well that im gg to go thru...
.Emotional Distress again...
.And indeed...
.I did go thru it...
.Tho i tell myself things are gg to change...
.For the better...
.Somehow...
.There will be setbacks...
.And these setback are such a nuisance...
.They will hold u back for awhile...
.I tried to fight it...
.And i really did fight it...
.Alhamdulilah...
.Many a times i had to just sit...
.Think & think & think...
.For wat i want at the end of the holy month...
.Throughout the holy month...
.But in the end,i failed...

.The promise i made to myself...
.I reluctantly follow...
.And thus it bacame a failure...
.I carry on Ramadhan the best i can...
.And strive to keep myself up there...
.Where there are frens and colleauges...
.Who tried to be nice...
.It seems something had been missing all the time...

~S.Y.A.W.A.L~
.The first day was tremendous...
.And the ambience was great...
.Raya prayers followed by Friday prayers...
.Feast followed by forgiveness...
.Brownies followed by Finger Food...
.Drinks followed by cocktail...
.Everything was in place...
.One by one relatives come and stay...
.Family gatherings are hard to come by...
.Thus the oppurtunity to keep everybody updated...
.Pictures taken and memories form...
.Tears rolled down but happines is in the air...
.Everything i've ever dreamt off for this family...
.Is happening this year...
.Only due to time constrain...
.That everyone had to make their moves early...
.And once again the house become empty...
.But there is one point of time whr i look at the stairway...
.Hoping to see a glimpse of somebody...
.But it never came...
.That's when i realised...
.How much I miss you...
.Forever...
.Though its been 3 years...
.I felt u left me just yesterday...
='(

.I wana go back to days...
.Whr Raye is the most hectic time of my life...
.Whr i would cry at the sight of my mom crying...
.When she ask for forgiveness from Atok & Nenek...
.Whr nenek would cook plain rice instead of Lontong...
.Just for me...
.And the rendang was cook seperately...
.For i prefer chicken to beef...
.And soda drinks was all i ever cared of...
.Whr i always wanted to sit on the lap of my mother...
.Playing with her tudung...
.And hugging her when i felt like it...
.And kissing her everytine she asks me to...
.And fight with my sister for who shud sit on top of her lap...
.And lastly,i would be the one...
.Daddy carried and let me sit on his lap...
=)

.I would not be able to celebrate it long enuf...
.I had only two weeks...
.Before i made my way into rehab...
.Its not an easy process...
.But im determined to get out of this...
.Depression...
.A strong word...
.I may be smiling...
.With new companies like Lynn,Inda,Hazirah...
.And laughing out loud the happy moments we had...
.During ramadhan and early syawal...
.But deep deep deep down inside...
.How much it hurts...
.Break me to pieces...

.I just want to be happy...
.And rehab would be the best place to start...
.And i plan to blog every single day of rehab...
.Till the last day...
.And upon discharge...
.I would be happy to know...
.I've tried.

*you left me here... Pls leave.*

♥ Romance