"...Y din i wan to let her read my diari is basically, i dun wan her to noe my past.. Dose probs i haf dat, sum of dem, r still a big issue to me. I dun wan her to worry bout me as she is gg to sit for her o's soon. I dun wan to bother her to much to regarding raye cos she will b studying n focusin on dat more den dose outing which i had in mind for d both of us. I dun wan wat happen betwn me n Yana to occur to me n Haja. Dat chapter is close long ago. To open it back wen everyting has already turn to normal is suicidal... "

-02 October 2006-

"M i rushing things? Or m i just too in to her. I dun Wan to lose her in one way or another. Waiting is d most dangerous n difficult tink to do wen ur in love. A lot of things will happen along d way n i tot of negatives. Dat has got to go. I mean i do trust her alot. But, u haf to understand. I need her, dats y i love her.. Dats me. N dats y i love her. But if shes far away frm me, i will miss her sooo much dat im scared sumtink bad will happen..."

-03 October 2006-

".. i neary cried while on d road just now.. wen she cant go out as mama wants her to stay at home to buke ramai2. N wen i din get to pick her up afta skool. I was wif hafiz lah otw back frm our Riding.. I missed her sooo much i cant help it. But u dun x pect me to cry juz like dat rite? Duh. Hmm still, i manage to control. D feeling was damn bad i hate to admit it..."

-07 October 2006-

".. i dun wan to continue. I hate myself. Y did i replied her dat???!!! Y m i sooo stupid? Y? n now, im felling really2 remorseful but if she decides to go for good, wat will happen to me? Argh.. Stupid2.. But, izit true wat hafiz told me jus now? I dun tink so.. Cos i tink, not all r like dat.. I mean, but wait. Well maybe to a certain extend..

...But y isnt she replying or returnin my calls n sms? Is she angry? did i hurt her?　Im sorry if i did so. Pls reply pls.. Dun leave me n dis matter hanging like dat. I hate dis situation. Damn!! "

-10 October 2006-


hmm i hope afta u read d above, u haf a lilidea wat u mean to me n wat dis relationship has in store for us. Prticulrly, dis is written in my personal diari.. Sori i couldnt share wif u guys.

I had a dream. Nur Amalina n Nurfiyana.In d same dream. Two of my x in one dream except dat one has pass away. Lin was happy but yana was more happier wen we meet. At a park.. A park somewhr out dere. i keep tinking wat it meant n its bugging me. will i bump into yana one dae？ i hope not. i din see her for quite sometime now. i was really shock lah to see yana but not Lin. I hope dose doa for her is enuf in d other world Insyaallah. Shes still d lin i once loved n knew. Alhamdulilah. D only tink dat is different is, She looks more happier, whiter n pretier. But For yana, i haf not been tinkin bout her n im still wondering y. Hmm..

Fine. Weekend was boring. Really2 boring. Urgh. i　din meet her at all which was bad to me. I received a letter to report to CMPB for x-ray. So i took a dae leave to go for dat. N i tot of picking her up too after skool. I msg her lah but took quite some time to reply. BUt b4 dat, i went to SP to meet my old Buddies!!! Hehehe. It was fun to see dem puase n gg to skool at d same time. Hahaha.. Kesian krg. Nanti aku blanja duit raye eh.. Sorang 50 sen.. Banyak gak perr.. dari tk dpt trus!!

I den went to ah boy to get n check out some stuff. Den only i went wif syed to bugis. Jalan2 n waitng for her. Jalan2 den nmpk my fren. Tk pose ngah makan pat KFC. Nvmd. Den afta syed left, i went back to meet her. I park my bike in front of her skol n sent her back in mrt. HAhaha.. She doesnt want to take d bike lah. I dun blame her too. im nt forcing her. wen she wans to den juz tell me yah.

On my way back, we exchange msgs n deres one dat sents me tinking. hmm my reply was stupid n i had to pay for it She din ans my calls n smses n im left like a mad guy..Haiz. I den went out wif hafiz n relaks, clearing my mind. We xchange stories n advices dat leaves us closer den ever. Thanks man.

Once i reach hm, i completed my diari n den fell asleep.. hoping to wake up wif her reply at least.



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